Thursday, 12 March 2015

Quick Write

Hidden world )
In the deep jungle a hidden gem glowing in the morning sun with golden rivers and bright green palm trees almost as if the world stood still . Quietly  our troops , stormed through the holes in the orange walls it was no longer a beautiful palace it was a deadly bomb waiting to go off then I tripped on Vital stone that sent the in trier building crashing to the dark brown sandy ground.

It was over ... Finished ... Done !!! There was nothing left for us I ruined everything it was just like the quiet before the storm then crash the storm came early way too early !!
The thing we were looking for something more priceless than a three story house made out of gold, I can't even tell you if its gold encrusted diamonds ? it was just too valuable.

We searched for ours but nothing was found just tiny pieces of gold , the world no longer stood still it was spinning in full motion it would not stop its almost like someone was playing us if they were stalking us our every move . Can you hair that rustling  in the trees then BANG! , hundreds of bees , we ran into the tumbled rocks hoping that they would  not follow , then simmering under the rock the gold , silver , bronze , diamonds all in that one vas
it was beautiful but it too far away  then the bee’s got in.

( my goal is to put my paragraphs & punctuation in the correct place) 


  1. Great descriptive writing Ruby, great use of adjectives. Next time think a bit more about your punctuation too.

  2. Great quick write ruby I can just imagine everything in my mind well done